The 31 Day Relationship Challenge

img_2701Back in September, I bought Connor & I these "31 Ways" books for our 10 month anniversary (I basically just needed an excuse to buy them). I kept seeing ads for them on my Facebook feed and heard about them from some brands I was following, so I gave in and went with it. I love anything that involves a habit or something to build our relationship. So, for 31 days we followed our books & we absolutely loved it! In a nutshell, 31 Ways is all about spending 31 days to challenge your relationship with your man. There are two versions of the book, one for men and one for women. They were written by Alyssa & Jeff Bethke. Each book is set up to have about a page of reading every day. It is a quick excerpt on how they integrate the habit into their lives. So for the version I read, I heard every day from Alyssa & learned more about her perspective on her relationship. Connor read Jeff's version. There are some challenges that are used in both versions but they are normally on different days. That's one of the things we loved about it. We could integrate these challenges into our daily lives without even really having to tell the other person what our challenge was that specific day. There were some that we did a few days after we were supposed to because we didn't have time, but that's totally okay because its about the effort.

A little background, I think that love languages are very important to learn about for your significant other or for the people close to you. (If you've never heard about them, take the quiz & see if you can get a little perspective on the way that you see relationships.) I thought that this challenge would really help Connor & I grow in our love languages also.

I have a hard time giving words of affirmation. I often don't see them Some of these challenges were really focused on that, & that stretched me a lot. I really liked the day where we had to develop questions for ourselves. The challenge was to develop questions to ask each other every week to keep yourselves accountable. Whether its about chasing a dream or developing a stronger work ethic, taking time to talk about where you want to be in the future. I also really enjoyed one of the first challenges. It was to find a verse to pray over your partner every day & to somehow display the verse, so that way he can see it every day. This was so powerful for us. Connor still keeps his note that I wrote on top of his dresser to this day!


Connor's Thoughts:

I really enjoyed the book because it made me really go out of my way to do things that I wouldn't normally do very often. It helped us grow closer because it kept us on our toes and it was fun to consistently be thinking about how we can do something for each other. In the beginning, it was about what the other person was doing for you, but in the end I was really focused on my actions towards Nicole.

I loved the night that Nicole made dinner. Its something that we do all the time together, but just knowing that she was doing it and had it ready when I arrived really meant a lot. I also like when she told me 10 things she loved about me. It was so special and sweet.

I liked the "her world" challenge.  On this day, I ran errands with her and made sure that we did everything she wanted to do. I also enjoyed the one on serving. I waited for a day where she was rushed and didn't have time for lunch because I got to deliver some to her! Lastly, I love a good joke so the cheesy pick up line challenge was really funny.


The Bottomline:

We have all read tips on how to improve your relationship that are generic or good ideas, but never really get implemented. This book challenges you every day. Also, because you know your partner is doing it also, it keeps you accountable moving forward.

So basically, grab these books for you & your boyfriend, fiance, or husband. These are amazing challenges to implement when you are just dating or have been married for years. We all have things to work on & this challenge is an awesome resource to utilize!

Check out Jeff & Alyssa's website. Buy them on from their store or on Amazon (on Amazon you have to purchase the books separately)